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By Cucan Pemo
It takes a long time to build a relationship. But it does not take long to destroy it. In fact, the cycle of failure needs no pushing; it gathers its own momentum. And once it does so, it becomes very difficult to stop it or put it in reverse gear.
The important thing is to stop the cycle of failure from moving on its own. This can only be done if the two partners realize what’s happening. One of them has to step forward, and stop the relationship from cracking.
Often it is men who are responsible for the emerging cracks in a relationship. This happens when they are overambitious or move up the ladder. They get so obsessed with their work that they forget their spouses. The distances increase, and a rift develops.
A relationship may also get affected if the man enters into another relationship. By doing so, he only makes life difficult for himself. The more he tries to hide his new relationship the more he complicates things.
There may be several other reasons for relationship failure but their effect invariably is the same.
Early signs of relationship failure
The first signs of a relationship that is in trouble are:
1. Man spending less time with his partner
2. A sharp spurt in arguments and quarrels over inconsequential issues
3. A gradual erosion of trust in each other
4. Sharp drop in lovemaking and sex life
5. Both start finding fault in each other.
How can men transform a breaking relationship
It is important for men to notice the growing signs of rift and disaffection. They cannot continue to live in their own world and allow a loving relationship to fall apart. The best is to act early and limit the damage.
This requires some introspection. The men first need to understand why the relationship has run into rough weather. Why is it that their spouse has become so touchy? Is it because they have started taking their spouse for granted? This happens in most relationships. The man gets so involved in his work that he forgets that his spouse altogether.
Things reach such a pass that a man has to make notes in his appointment diary of the lunch or dinner dates he needs to keep free for his wife. The spontaeniety that first characterized their relationship vanishes. The wife has to wait for her husband to find time for her. This leads to first boredom, then anger and then depression. In some cases, it may even force women to find another relationship that can keep them occupied. The man must act before this happens.
The cancer of suspicion
In many cases the relationship is torn by suspicion. The woman may have reason to believe that her man is carrying on with someone else. In some cases, it may only be suspicion. But in some cases, a flirtation can become a dangerous extra-marital relationship.
The man has to assure his wife that there is no other woman in his life. He cannot allow an extra-marital affair to come in the way of a long and happy relationship. He has to break off any ties that he may have developed if he has to save his relationship.
He will also have to show remorse at what he did. He will have to bend and beg forgiveness. More than that, he will have to assure his wife that this will not happen again. He will be lucky if he is forgiven. He can surely anticipate the chill to continue for some more time. It is for him to ensure that he wins his wife’s affection again.
In case, the chill is the result of suspicion alone then the man must demand an explanation. However, he should do with finesse. There is no reason why he should put his wife on the back foot. He is not settling scores or avenging a hurt. He is trying to rebuild trust in the relationship. He therefore needs to clear the air of any misgivings that his wife may have started entertaining. At the same time, he must start devoting more time to her.
Don’t forget respect
No relationship can be complete unless both the partners trust each other. They also need to treat each other with respect. In fact, mutual respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Any man who runs his woman down can never expect the relationship to last.
The man must create space within which the woman must feel comfortable. She must not be made to feel small in front of friends or children. The man must convey his points deftly without hurting a woman’s pride. He must also listen to her with full courtesy and seriousness. This alone can save many a relationship.
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A Great Article.....
Any time
a guy asks me the question, "how to get a girl back" I always extract
three key pieces of information from him before offering any advice:
1. Breakup Reason
2. Mindset
3. Timing
Even though every
breakup is unique, addressing these three points should be the starting
point to any relationship repair strategy. Now let's examine them in
more detail to actually see how they fit into the gameplan of how to
get a girl back.
The first thing
that needs to be analyzed is the reason for the breakup. While there
may be countless reasons a relationship goes sour, each and every one
of these can be put into one of two categories: her interest level
declined or his interest level declined.
The former
scenario occurs when the guy shows too much affection towards the girl.
Calling too often, excessive gift giving, and too many "I love you"
remarks are perfect examples of this. It contradicts logic, but
whenever a girl feels smothered with love, she no longer considers her
partner a challenge, and hence the drop in interest level.
The latter
scenario occurs when they guy doesn't show enough attention towards the
girl. Cancelling plans, forgetting to call back, and an overall lack of
quality time spent with the girl are prime examples.
The second point
of the relationship repair strategy focuses on mindset. That is, what
are the guy's current feelings and how much control does he have over
those feelings. A breakup is just another form of rejection and when
anyone gets rejected, there's always a natural tendency to want to the
unattainable back.
The last point,
timing, is what will make or break the entire strategy. After a girl
ends it with a guy there is a small window of opportunity left wide
open to correct things and get back together. Waiting too long before
attempting to correct things makes every effort to get her back that
much more ineffective.
Once those three
focal points have been addressed, the plan of how to get a girl back
can be easily put together. For example, if it was her interest level
that ultimately declined the guy must re-establish the challenge that
once existed in the relationship. If it was his interest level that
declined he needs to start showing more affection in a timely, yet
subtle fashion.
To correctly
execute the above mentioned plan, his mindset is the key. Every action
should be based on logical thoughts and not desperate desire. Taking a
step back from the entire situation and looking at it from an
outsider's point of view is the recommended way to establish the right
mindset. In other words, the guy should ask himself the question, "If I
were in her shoes, how would I want to be approached?" It is through
this perspective that he'll ultimately get his answer.
Finally, and as
mentioned before, timing is crucial. The guy should put himself in the
right mindset to handle this situation as soon as possible, as every
second counts in this how to get a girl back strategy.
Mark J. Campbell
is the author of the men's only relationship repair book, "How To Turn
Her Resistance Into Desperate Desire To Run Back To You."
To learn more
about how to get a girl back and how you can put into
motion your own relationship repair strategy, be sure to visit http://www.getyourexgirlfriendback.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_J._Campbell
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